I’m MaryAnn.

For most of my life, I had a bully living in my head. Its argument was simple: you’re not enough. And I'd given it plenty to work with. Childhood trauma, adult anxiety and depression, and a near-fatal eating disorder in my early 20’s.

I ran organizations while the bully was talking. I held board positions and sat in the CEO chair. Accolades and awards were a part of my entire life. I was even awarded the Department of Defense Meritorious Public Service Medal – third highest honor a civilian can receive.    And none of it quieted the negative voice.

That's the part to understand.  Achievement is not an answer to the inner critic. It's fuel. Every win raises the bar it will use against you next. Often the people most likely to be run by that bully are the ones with the most impressive reasons to believe they should be immune. And yet despite being clothed in “success”, they aren't.

You may not share my history, but you know what your inner critic produces: the decisions delayed because being wrong isn't permissible, good people micromanaged instead of trusted, high performance that's quietly costing you more than anyone can see - and you wonder when the bill will come due.

For me everything shook loose due to a traumatic event involving my daughter. Everything the critic had promised that enough control would keep anything bad from happening again collapsed. What changed things wasn't more discipline.

Discipline in its worst expression was what it had been using. What I had to learn was to lead from my innate strengths that I could trust without fail. Then I finally saw my inner critic for what it was: a liar with no real authority, only the position of power I’d allowed it to step into.